My arm pits are smelly. I stink between my hips, like fish at the front, and faeces at the back. I have no friends. Nobody likes me. Everyone thinks I... a smelly loser. I get bullied and mocked by the bitchy popular valley-girls, they gossip and giggle about me, about how I stink, about my lame clothes, about how much of a dweeb and a loser I am, and when they see me in the hall they chant Smelly-boy, smelly-boy, Jonothons a smelly-boy! over and over and over. I still try to suck up to them cos. Since I’m talking about my wife, I’ll tell you about how I please her. First of all I’ll state the obvious: I use my hands and mouth. As you have probably guessed from my alias, I’m a guitar player, so I have very nimble fingers. My wife was the first woman I ever slept with, and when we started having sex, I had some control problems, so I learned early on how to use my fingers well. And I know exactly how to find and stimulate a g-spot. As stated above, I have a large tongue. It’s nowheres. More

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