I would think to myself, “This is not who I am. This is not how I was raised.” Catholic school, straight A’s, rule-follower...on paper, it didn�...�t seem right. But none of that mattered. This “new me” made me feel comfortable in my own skin for once. I had always felt like I was missing something in my life and I was now learning what that was. He owned me and punished me. I often battled myself - I wanted to please Him, yet I liked being punished. How could I balance these feuding feelings? The. She came back in the room I looked at her and she didn’t even look at me. I was feeling very bad as she was not even talking to me she sat down on the other side of the bed switched on TV and started watching.I went behind her and hugged her tight saying sorry but also I said that she was drunk and I didn’t want to do anything which would ruin our beautiful relationship. She turned her face which was full of tears and she said I know you are a good person but in that moment I wanted it and now. More

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