Since then I couldnt stop thinking about it, I couldnt stop thinking about how it was over too fast. Eighteen days of regret that I didnt drag it out ...onger. Eighteen days of wishing I could do it over again, like the first time I had sex. Make it last. Eighteen days of being half-assed at work, eighteen days of barely eating, eighteen days of wondering why I felt like I didnt do it right instead of feeling guilty that I had done it at all. Eighteen days of not being able to shop. Id gone to. I was starting to look at the guys as people, rather than opportunities, and I didn't much care for them as people.Was I becoming enlightened? If so, life was much easier when I was ignorant.I felt exhausted when it was over. It had been an effort and I hadn't enjoyed it. Well, tonight I would get to see my friends, except they really weren't friends. They were people who thought highly of me in a competitive environment where it was advantageous of them to do so, people who would follow my. More

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