Perhaps it was her complete power over me in this situation. Possibly she'd had her own fantasies toward me. Maybe she liked the notion of herself as ...he ultimate object of sexual desire. Or it could have been a combination of all three. In any case, I didn't care. I was going to pleasure my sister in the most intimate of ways, and I was eager to live out this moment, just one of my many fantasies. I scooted just a little closer, and rested her feet on my shoulders as I leaned in. With a broad,. Doctor Mercer compared it to addictions - you refuse to acknowledge that you need help until you’ve sunk so low that there’s nothing left and no other option. I kept trying to hold on to my religion, like an addict holding on to drugs.”“Did Doctor Mercer tell you that?” I asked, incredulously.“Not at first. She talked about the addiction part. I talked a lot to Susie and she helped me see that I was trying to live in both worlds and failing at both. Then I talked to Doctor Mercer about it. Once. More

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