I’d still like to know how they got whip cream into a shampoo bottle though. That might be a handy skill some day. Since I wasn’t allowed to do mu...h and had two watchdogs who made sure of it, I took to watching TV with Uncle Dar. We’d snuggle up on the couch, and he’d let me choose any program I wanted. I don’t know if he liked what I did, but he’d sit there for hours and just hold me. Every now and then, either Ellen or Nancy would sit on his other side and he’d hold that one too. More than. I didn’t know where to look. I mean I knew I should look away, but there was no chance of that. My eyes jittered, moving from her breasts (the nipples were brown, not pink) to a cleft that was amazingly easy to see, primarily because there wasn’t a single strand of hair to obscure anything. The term “bikini cut” flashed through my mind at about a million miles an hour, followed by the argument that a classic bikini cut didn’t remove all the hair, but then it didn’t matter because I couldn’t. More

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