I was sure she regretted what had happened with him, and over and over I debated the idea of telling her that she had nothing to feel guilty about, th...t I had even done my best to ensure it had happened by pretending to fall asleep.In the end, as it had the potential to cause embarrassment within the family, I reluctantly decided it would be better for all concerned if I never let on that I know what happened.Then, four months after my brother’s visit, something happened that would change. She has verbally abused me to the point that I evenconsidered taking her to court once or twice. But mostly I feel like I failedmyself as well as you. That why; as you realized, that I have beendepressed at times. Why did mom made me feel like cutting myself orelectrocuting myself? I would have walked into the street to become roadkill if one of you hadn't grabbed my arm on more than one occasion. I justknow that I've always been meant to be a woman and the only way to stopme is through my. More

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