“You HAVE to talk about it, John!” she argued immediately, like she hadn’t just finished telling me that she’d respect my desire for privacy. ...��What was it like? Was it awkward? You weren’t disappointed, were you? Everything went okay?”I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose, counted to ten, imagined myself in my happy place and all the other bullshit techniques to ease off stress. I put my bowl back in the microwave and set the timer for another minute. Then I went to the fridge to get. He looked up from staring at the floors tiles and craned his neck around, saw me and widened his eyes in nervous attentiveness. Whats wrong? I fought to be heard over the noise. Confusion sat on his face for a moment. Oh! Right. He shook his head, putting some motion into fluffy, light hair. Nothing. This is my neutral state. He chuckled at his self-deprecation. I dont think my face showed anything. Do you have a date? April twenty-second. I was embarrassed to smile at the joke, but I couldnt. More

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