She responded to my taking her hands in mine. ‘Close your eyes’, I commanded. ‘Relax’. She did as I instructed and took a deep breath. I could...see the apprehension of the unknown release from her body with my soft touch. I slowly caressed her arms up to her shoulders, then touched her face with the back of my hand. ‘So here are the rules’ I said, noticing an eager curiosity as she reopened her eyes. ‘I will tell you what position I want you in, what panties I want you to wear, all that. You. "You're damaged. Tell me about it."Anyone else would have walked out on me, a relative stranger, if I'd said that to them but not her. You see, I can kind of smell it on them, it's a ‘hormone’ they give off.She'd opened up about it, relished recounting the sordid brutality yet the details were irrelevant because she needed to live through it in a variety of ways again and again and again - Freud’s compulsion to repeat.*"I'm going to fucking hurt you, you worthless, fat and ugly bitch.'She says. More

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