It would eventually end when she moved to California. Despite exchanging letters and phone calls this gradually tapered off and finally ceased. I was ...eeply saddened by the end of our relationship but it gave me the strength and courage to pursue other relationships without the shame I previously felt. When I began to work I had more access to women who were likeminded and had a number of brief affairs. I officially lost my virginity to a lesbian cook named Maya. She reminded me of my old. Anyone looking at our family from the outside would have concluded wehad the perfect life. But there was one fundamental problem.I desperately wanted--no, needed--to become a woman. I probably nevershould have gotten married in the first place. I had known since myearliest awareness of the differences between boys and girls that Ishould have been born a girl.For decades, my main coping strategy was denial. I thought if I gotmarried and fathered a child (since I could never be a mother), it. More

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