I think in truth I alwaysDID feel a desire to complete my physical transition, so that my body wascongruent with my gender identity. But the thing is,...for the most part,the magnitude and complexity of the surgery, and the potential forcomplications, scared me off. In other words, my fear of the surgeryoutweighed my desire for the outcome.But gradually, over time, the balance began to shift. The daily remindersthat there was still this anomaly there, that my body did not whollyreflect who I. ”Jackie was crying but was used to that, and as she eased herself up from Lucy‘s lap and knew that her vision was blurred because of the tears that filled her eyes, she felt Miss Lucy clasp hold of her upper arm again and lead her the few steps across the room and guide her downwards so she lay on the piled-up three pillows so they were exactly below her bottom, which was now presented in just the right position for Miss Lucy to give her the cane.Lucy watched as a crying Jackie positioned. More

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