Helpline here ... What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her thigh by a hornet and now ...er vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway,. They were, and here he surprised himself by thinking clearly in the micro-seconds that were ticking past before what he assumed might be his last moments on earth, overweight. Fat even. Perhaps he stood a chance. He did, but not for the reason of his smaller girth.The one nearest turned and began to draw a knife from its sheath. In this situation the natural reaction is one of two; either the knifee (the person to be knifed) freezes like a rabbit in the glare of its nemesis stoat, or they look. More

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