As I listen to them talking and laughing, I realize my hands are shaking. Damnit, I’m forty-six years old and nervous as hell.I remain motionless as...I ponder my position. Let’s see, married for twenty-four years, we had sex two or three times a week. I reach the conclusion I’ve had sex over three thousand times in my life. Wow, that’s an impressive number if I say so myself, but it doesn’t mean shit at this point. I’m shaking like a leaf in a wind storm.As I continue my internal debate, I hear. So I mentally wished him well, and got on with my life.The girls had walked around me gently, until I walked in to the kitchen smiling, and asked them to fix some sandwiches for a picnic. We took the meal, some water, a bottle of wine, and went down to look at our pond, now completely full. Now we could dangle our toes in the water while we sat on the dock. We spread out the quilts we'd brought, ate, touched, drank the wine, touched more, talked a little, until we decided to let our bodies. More

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