Not with Brad. None of it was stable. But I, who had once been celebrated for decisiveness and initiative, had no desire, no intention, no will to mak... a change. I did not even know what change I wanted. Which was real: the person I had seemed to be all my life, who excelled at school and work, or the person I was with Brad? The only indicator was that I remained passive. One evening though, half hysterically, I did confront Brad. We were in his suite at the Meridian in Boston. I was half. I push against you as the ceiling fan spins slowly above us. The gentle hum of the cicadas outside fade away as my thoughts drift to you and you alone. The feeling of your body pressed against mine, the sound of your breaths, the touch of your hands on my back. I pull away for a moment to take off my shirt and toss it to the side. I giggle when I catch your eyes on my cleavage. I picked out my favorite bra for this occasion, but it won’t be here for long. My hands go to your hips, and I raise. More

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