But as our trading accounts grew, my fears of Julie leaving me increased. I always felt that she was too attractive to stay with someone like me, and ...ow that she didn’t need me financially, it just felt like she was slipping through my fingers. One side effect of these feeling was that I didn’t always leave Julie enough room to operate, if a guy looked like he was getting the wrong ideas, I tended to interrupt them. Julie was frustrated with me, because she interpreted it as that I didn’t. 
 Usually these depressing thoughts were enough to trigger her desire to drink until the pain of life subsided into the alcoholic haze and she would awaken on her bed with the splitting headache and the same situation to deal with all over again.

Although Jillian didn't have any desire or awareness of how God worked in her life, she knew that somewhere inside of her, she had a Higher Power. She would curse and insult religious folks all the time with her foul mouth, but deep inside she knew,. More

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