I can't even talk to her she refuses to listen. It doesn't matter how niceI am she doesn't care. She doesn't love me, she doesn't care about me. Whata...big mistake this whole thing was from the day we met neither of us has everbeen really happy. Her May 6 th . Today he came and stood in the doorway watching me for a while. He neithercried nor smiled. I wish I could have known what was going through his mindat that moment in time. Him I'm going to have to let her go soon, I have to admit I was. There was a short break while things were set-up inside of the barn; I had a chance to relax a little. Sitting to have a cup of coffee was pretty uncomfortable and I was trembling as we went over the next scene. It was a lot like ‘waiting’ to be punished; it’s a very uneasy feeling, the waiting and thinking about what’s coming. It didn’t make it any easier that we were discussing what was going to happen or, that the entire crew would be watching this. I don’t mind putting on a show but…somehow. More

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