“But, Innocence, I can’t stay. I’ve thought about it for so long. And it’s not just that I’ve failed you. It’s … it’s … I need the b...eak. Maybe I’ll come back. But I know you’ll find another lover. And … and … and I know I’ll find one too. Not perhaps one as beautiful, or as special as you. You know it. But, it has to happen. I have to leave. I think I shall work as an editor for a different kind of magazine. It may be a sex magazine, but it won’t be a fan magazine…” “You can do that and stay. I felt that I had to accept being born a male.This started me on a period that would be my longest form of denial.Part 4 - The Later YearsWhen I was nineteen, I thought that being male was a mistake. Then onenight I thought that if God wanted me a female I would have been born afemale. This thought cost me many years of suffering. I then tried toact more like a male, but I wasn't very successful. In my mind's eye Iwould still think of myself as a female.When I was around twenty or twenty-one,. More

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