Although I was without Kate, I didn’t dare start a relationship with someone else. I simply didn’t want to share the pain I was going through with...anyone else. My internalizing my pain wasn’t exactly doing me any good though. It was just that the infighting in my family was not something I wanted to expose anyone else to at this time. The problems at home only added to my insecurities I felt as an adolescent. I was really starting to reach a breaking point. I thought about Kate and how much I. I had a brother some three years older than me, who I always looked up to, and was proud of. Matthew was my big brother, my protector and always kept an eye out for me. Whenever I was in trouble or felt down, I would always go to Matthew, rather than mum or dad. I guess we had an ordinary upbringing, with dad going to sea as a fisherman, often away for days or weeks on end. The winters were very long and cold and fine days were very rare. Back in my childhood, I never regarded Matthew as a. More

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