So I came to you again. And that time, I went through with it. And it was utterly amazing. It’s what my first time should have been. If I’d done i... with you that first time, I would never have gone to see Mr. Dixon and I never would have been raped.”“Do NOT blame yourself for that!” I said firmly. “You were fourteen and he was a married teacher. He should have known better than to get involved in the first place, and even if I apply my own standards on age difference, he didn’t have consent.. I had no idea. Allmy energy had been focused on walking, that I had no time to wonder aboutwhether I was enjoying myself or not. ?Erm,? I stalled. Then it washed over mewith a delayed aftershock, all the restrained emotion catching up with me. Itook a deep breath, and it came to me.?I loved it,? Isaid, and it was an understatement. It was the loss of control. I wasn?tcrossing the main road, sure, but I was putting all of my trust, my entire bodyand mind, into the hands of another. Not only. More

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