" Then she produced a pitcher ofcold water from thin air, poured out a glass, and then threw the glass inmy face. Then she poured out another and of...ered it to me.I was definitely wet and I was pretty sure I wasn't hallucinating. But Idecided to go along and see where this went."I'm a genie," she remarked flatly. "I live - or something like live - inthe carpet. I know, I know, most genies are supposed to live in bottles.But believe me, carpets are much more interesting. Lots of stuff. Your wife is on a business trip. She won’t be back for three more days and it has already been three since you got laid. You’re looking forward to sex where you spend twenty minutes trying to get her motor started. In the process you get a sore wrist and then she lets you put it in. One way or another, it’s all over two minutes after you stick it in. You’ve either succeeded in timing it right or you’ve disappointed her. She barely participates. ‘Meanwhile, you get a come-hither look from some. More

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