If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.- SocratesI was married by a judge. I should have asked...for a jury.- Groucho MarxMy wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.- Jimmy DuranteI have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.- Zsa Zsa GaborOnly Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.- Alex LevineMy luck is so bad that if. Jim began to kneel onthe floor in front of Debra. The bartender was clearly excited, andmoaned a sigh. He was now on the floor inches from Debra's shoe.She spoke again. "Jim?" Yes?" he answered."You may call me mistress Debra, do you understand?" Yes Mistress Debra." Good boy! I want you to remove the pump from my foot, do youunderstand?" Yes, Mistress Debra." he answered."Good Boy!"Jim removed the shoe to reveal the most beautiful red toenails encasedin the sheerest suntan hose he had ever. More

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