" I kind of thought so."? With another sheepish little grin -- or grimacesince I knew I was really in trouble with this lovely lady -- I settledback t... listen."I was in my early forties, had a liver condition from my lifestyle -- Iwas an off and on drunk, to be honest -- but had dearly wanted to getinto space since I was a kid and read about the Apollo missions.? Theonly way I was going to get there was by imagination, or vicariouslythrough vids and books.? I thought.? Then I was fortunate. I wet myself. I was so ashamed. My room smelled of my piss. I didn’t smell it, but I knew, once someone else opened my door, they would. I hoped nobody would find me. Why wouldn’t this go away?I could feel my stomach eating itself. I was so hungry. My mouth was so dry. What little water I had in my body, my head now laid in. I hate drooling. I began crying. I was so pathetic. I was alone. Hours passed.Hours of thinking, watching my life play out in my head, all my regrets. I. More

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