Back in my room after a hot shower they sedated me and I slept deeply for many hours. I was drained mentally, and my shame at being used sexually by a...other man was palpable. I determined, however, that I would not let it destroy me, and if necessary make profound changes in my habits and attitudes about sex.**********************************************************The next morning after eating breakfast and taking the many pills given me, I was taken once again to the lab. Christina cuffed me. ‘I promise to pick something else, if you insist, but at least let me look.’ He turned on his most devastating smile and I was lost. ‘I . . uh. . Guess we could at least take a look…’ I murmured. Before I knew what was happening I was unlocking my studio and letting him in to view the painting. ‘I don’t even, think it’s here. I mean, it’s probably in storage.’ I stalled as I lit up the large studio space. Canvases were everywhere. I often work in a series of paintings, with an occasional. More

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