It would be cruel, but at least I would have known. Known enough to try and put it behind me and move on with my life. But not knowing meant that I co...ldn't. My imagination would fill in the blanks, and there were an awful lot of blanks. I spent hours driving around the streets of our town, searching for a glimpse of her. I sat in my car, two hundred yards from her parents house for hours on end. The possibility that she was there or would call on them was the hope that kept me there. All to. The worse blackouts occurred about the same time after seeing the girls the last time before they committed suicide.As I scan the title of the first page I can recall the first major blackout. It was following the homecoming dance when I saw Sarah, was a red headed girl, with long legs and had the unofficial title of bad girl of the school. I would often catch her disappearing into the one of the classrooms. The last time that happened, I blacked out for couple of hours. The next day she was. More

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