But I was the commanding officer and had to keep my doubts and anxieties to myself. I knew capture had badly shaken the ranks and so it was up to me ...o keep everyone steady. I had to preserve the impression -- the illusion -- that someone was in control. That meant acting like I knew the answers. The trouble was, I didn't know the half of them. Pressure -- and loneliness -- will buckle a man if he doesn't have a friend with whom he can be honest and up-front. The closest thing I had to a. My hair was a wet mess but there was no time to do anything except leave it.He was right; it would have been awkward to get dressed in his presence, even though I had felt no shame in doing the reverse.I unwrapped a cinnamon candy to moisten a dry mouth until the mounting thirst could be slaked at home. Inexplicably, I had just been naked with him and come with him, yet I wouldn’t so much as help myself to a glass of water in his house. Not all intimacies are equal, I mused.But what did he want. More

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