The first time our team came over for a sightseeing tour of their planet, we caused a bit of a commotion. Heinz, our dear boss and a pestilential nuis...nce, had the bright idea of having our ship painted in this toxic green colour, which, it turned out, is absolutely taboo on their planet – it had something to do with the giant crab-like creature they worship zealously. You’d think anyone would have bothered warning us?Anyway, long story short – we were in a bit of a trouble, their local. “You have, my darling, you already have,” she cooed. “Her hopes are being met this very instant, perhaps.”“You?” he gasped. “I thought yesterday, when you said nothing, that you were protected.”“I need no protection from you, my bonny lad,” she crooned. “Let your seed flow, and let it take in my womb, and let us have the first of many children together Rodney MacDowell.”There was a frenzy of thrusting and grunting and groaning and I suddenly realized that that thick white stuff that Seamus had. More

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