I've hardly ever seen them together outside of their nest and on those rare occasions, they exhibit none of the casual affection of coupledom; no hand...holding, no unthinking tender caresses, no sensual meetings of lips or fluttering eyelashes. Even singularly they run the gauntlet of disapproval; for I have heard the bench dwelling old ladies and their hard of hearing spite, seen the deliberate daily meaningful slights, observed the crotch-grabbing lads with their callous taunts, and the pram. " Pretti ... what?" Mum was immune to my questions and protestations as shestridently led me to yet another chair."My goodness that will not do." My mother tut tutted as she examined mynails."Mum, could you please take the plastic out of my hair," I pleaded."All in good time but we really must attend to your finger nails whatwould my prospective clients think if they saw them?"I sighed in resignation as I saw that familiar manic gleam in mymother's eyes. I could tell there was no stopping her. More

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