Five bodies. A river of crimson. Each version of me has its own jagged scar, its own story to tell. Dimly lit clubs. Drugs I can’t even pronounce....Sex so depraved, so powerful, it breaks you. Park benches near a placid lake. They all flow by in harsh, imperfect clarity, less visceral than before, but no less painful, no less maddening. “Mad, mad, mad!” the voices jeer. Who the fuck would apologize for not remembering that? Not living that? Thump. Thump. Five hundred more lies. I wonder. The only thing that saved me was my "heart of gold" interior that often made an effort to make things better for those less fortunate than me in the world.Now that I was here in AD833 at a time of utter chaos and in the body of a man instead of my comfortable feminine persona I could appreciate the difficulty of the assignment. The concept of "true love" and "self-sacrifice" was in short supply in a world that witnessed a shortened life span of about thirty-five for most folks. The atmosphere. More

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