When I returned home it was like normal with me alone as usual and my sisters helping mum in the kitchen.Later at dinner mum announced that she had to...go and see her own older sister who was in hospital in the next city about 100 miles away and that she would take Anita with her since she did not want to travel alone. The plan was they would catch the night express bus and to reach in the morning and then stay there for 4-5 days while mums sister recovered. Mum instructed Rani that as the. Before, I was walled off, emotionally, focused on doing whatever it took to get my fix -- and trying not to think about how I was lying, cheating and stealing and using people. I couldn't get emotionally involved with anyone under those circumstances, as it would only hurt us both. Once my 'fix' had an emotional component -- and really didn't involve hurting anyone -- I could open up; in fact, I had to in order to be effective. I was sad for some of these guys -- and helping them and giving. More

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