Rick stares at me bleary-eyed and silent. Even half-asleep and hungover, Rick is the epitome of masculine power. Dark hair, blue eyes, 250 lbs of soli... muscle packed onto a 6'4" frame. It's a real shame that the poor guy is dumb as a rock. That's actually why he's still here, living with Mom and Dad. He's two years older than me and was the town's great football superstar. Everybody swore he was going to be the next Drew Brees (I have no idea who that is... famous athlete or something) but. We told them how important it was that we could really see the scale of things before I accepted this truly bizarre offer. I think the fact that they actually did it is what pushed me over the top to make the decision I did.Alright. Okay. Everyone's on board. Sit down, people. Please just do as the nice airline employees tell you. See, I already know that it is required by federal law to do so. I don't need a reminder, and honestly, neither should any of them. Let's just get this rickety bucket. More

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