The argument went something like this:MY PENIS: “Fuck her! She’s hot!”THE REST OF ME: “No, we’re friends, it’d be weird…”PENIS: “But...�� tits!”Needless to say, it was a confusing time for me.It all started with Corrine, a bodacious blonde who was clearly destined for the Playboy centerfold. For a late-blooming nerd like me, she was also the most intimidating person on the planet. Every detail about her seemed specifically designed to twist my tongue into knots. First off, she was the tallest girl. .. don’t know.”“You don’t know! It never crossed your tiny mind did it? You were so certain John had betrayed you, you never thought to question anything!“Who’s Gary best mates with? Who was also at the conference? Another thing, do you really think that John would invent a statement from the Chief Executive Officer? Is he suicidal?” Susan’s words dripped scorn.“And you’ve just called me a liar, Carol,” Tom added. “I was there as well.”“You’re his mate. You’ll say anything.”Carol was beginning. More

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