She’d decided to stay until the 1st of July; ten days total, and said she was looking forward to it with a mixture of joy and sadness. I felt the sa...e way - joy at seeing her, sadness at the looming end of something that had begun six years earlier.Penny hung out with us on Sunday afternoon, and she and I cuddled a bit, but when she went home, she kissed me on the cheek. When I shut the door behind her, I turned and leaned against it and let out a long, deep sigh. Penny seemed to have adapted. ..What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times, some nights my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take some leave to. More

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