Well, back in May, Rhonda asked Samantha and me to enter into a long-term relationship with her. We became novia—that's like fiancés. The thing is ...hat then we had the fire. And then building our home in the barn. And then school. And the television show. There's never been a time for us to make our commitment public. With all our families here, we'd like to do that now."Everyone moved to gather around us in front of the fireplace. We'd all worn our gis to Christmas dinner. Eight of us were in. As my sister, Tina Twattie, once said when fondling a not-so-well-endowed vicar for the week’s take, “Well, this won’t be much of a sin!”But, OH NO! You have to cum up with yet another of your patented sicko quack remedies for his tiny twinkie. You’re such a quack I’m surprised you don’t waddle like a fucking duck! You and your so-called advice column for that sleazy, ass-wipe, pre-pubescent, pubic-ation!And as for your meat-tenderizing tendencies – maybe that’s how you get your jollies, having. More

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