“Are you nervous?”Before Stephanie had a chance to gag a response, the opening notes of Here Comes The Bride told the human pig-roast that it was ...ime to shuffle awkwardly down the aisle. The two pantsless men made their way to the altar, Stephanie’s dangling limbs between them, under the accusatory glares of both the bride and groom’s families. Stephanie’s parents, who had already paid for the reception, were especially sour at having their daughter double-stuffed in front of hundreds of. It was an amicable breakup. She was on her way to an out of state school and I was staying here. We both realized a long distance relationship wasn't going to work. We gave up our virginity to each other so at least I had some fond memories. Oh well.Mom dressed casually in a blouse and slacks. I drove her car and we arrived in plenty of time. Now sitting in an auditorium waiting for a movie to start these days just forces one to watch nonstop commercials with the volume so loud you can't. More

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