Someone has to watch the house, and mom tells me it might as well be me, considering I don't have much better to do. Luckily, they set me up with a sm...ll weekly allowance for food, entertainment, and that sort of thing.With no siblings to share the house with, and nowhere else to go but my small chunk of middle-American suburbia, the only person I can spend any time with is my best friend, Sam Wilson, who lives just a block away. Our parents have always been very close, apparently close enough. I turned to my friends and said, ‘I’m gonna marry that girl.’ And got back the expected responses. ‘Yeah, right!’ ‘Bull shit’ ‘Way out of your league you loser.’ The funny thing is, I didn’t want to go out at all. I had sworn off women after a nightmare of a break-up with a woman who really made me consider, for the first time in my life, whether or not life was worth continuing. I wasn’t suicidal or anything, but I had decided that I was destined to be either alone or in a miserable. More

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