The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This ...ompliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too. And with only an apologetic look, I stood up and went into what had been our bedroom to change.I still had my key, and the lock opened obediently. But rather than step inside, I simply let the door swing out before me.I stood on the porch, just breathing deep breaths. The door creaked noticeably as it swung, the hinges having gone more than two months without use. I filed that sound away in my head, knowing that I would need to WD-40 them. It was just one of a zillion little housekeeping tasks. More

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