Our lives changed that day, mom got a job and I left college and got a job in a sawmill, we refused to talk about him just carried on with our lives. ...any nights I heard mom crying in her room, I tried to comfort her but she refused to listen. Christmas loomed upon us, we knew it would not be the same but we put up the decorations and sent out the usual cards to our friends. We had been invited to a friend’s party, mom tried to stay at home, but I managed to get her interested eventually. When. "Jack held me and whispered, "Masha, I will never be able to forgive myself if he dies..."I crossed myself, pulled out my prayer rope1 and began to pray.1 Orthodox prayer rope – used by the Orthodox to help them concentrate while saying the Jesus prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me). When you pray for someone else you substitute their name for "me". So Masha prayed, 'Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on Ben.'Flashback – Tatiana – In the hospitalThis was strange; I. More

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