I wanted to be a dominant. I wanted control. But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told...a soul about my desires. The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified. Not because dogs turn me on, because they don’t ... But because I know that filthy men will be turned on by the idea of a woman like me doing something like that with a dog ... And the idea of doing it on a stage, infront of all those men – with them wanting me, but not being allowed to touch, whilst a dog is allowed to do whatever he wants ... That turns me on SOOOOO much!”She turns into the backstage area, a small dark corner of the club, separated from the ‘front of house’ by a big black. More

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