"They whispered something, then the girl came and squatted in front of my Mum, pulling her bumcheeks apart.She growled, "Teresa, this is what we think...of you, your wanker of a son and the poncy, stuck up airs you put on when you're really no better than us, girl!"To my total shock, the girl squeezed out a big brown sausage of a turd, letting it fall to the ground in front of Mum. The young slag snarled back at Mum as she shat, going "NNEEEEERRRRRRR! There yer go, Teresa!"They all laughed loudly. ”I knew that; guess I’d forgotten. “Tea, then? I think I have hot chocolate mix.”“Mmm, hot chocolate would be nice – as long as it’s not too much trouble.”“It’s a powdered mix, Jen; even I can boil water.” She laughed. “You want it fortified or straight?”“Like with booze, you mean?”“Sure. I have a few suitable things; Schnapps, that kind of thing.”“I don’t know…”"I have a bottle of Bailey's Chocolate Mint hanging around here somewhere; a former girlfriend liked it, but I'll never finish it. More

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