The relief of urinating felt just as rewarding as reaching a mountaintop, although the view not nearly as fine. Graffiti at eye level read: ‘Why ar... you looking at this? The joke is your hand.’ ‘Ha, ha. That’s so fucking original.’ Tom left the men’s room and headed for his stool. But the stool was gone, and a cuddly couple had taken his table. They held hands, leaned across, and whispered nose to nose. ‘Shit!’ Heads turned briefly at Tom’s outburst. The realization ‘I’m shit-faced,’ dawned. Can't let people think we're nuts by telling the truth." Preparing food proved to be tougher than he thought as he burned six slices of toast, a dozen eggs and four slices of bacon before getting it right. With the kitchen cleaned up all on his own by the time the kids got up, they were none the wiser. After Harriet went to Jake's job and the kids were off to their daycare of a pre-school bus, he wrote himself a note reminding himself that the bus only delivers to school and that she'd have to. More

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