No way. But when I search his eyes, I do not find a lie, only a steely determination which barely covers the pinched look of loss. Hes being deadly se...ious, hes really giving me the choice and he seems sure which one I will make. Two thoughts flit through my mind at this realisation. The first is ridiculous and pathetically warm, he really loves me. The second is smarter, calculating and triumphant, this is my chance! I can leave! But why does the thought fill me with dread? Alright, I whisper,. I tried frantically to remember what pet names I'd used for her back then."Hey, CBD! What'cha up to?" Grrr, I told you not to call me that," the smile in her voice belying the words. CBD stood for -cute, but dumb," a nickname she earned one day in the cafeteria after a malapropism worthy of Gracie Allen left us all in stitches. But in 1984 a woman aspiring to be a professional, no matter how bright, still couldn't always count on a fair hearing -- having that nickname follow her wouldn't. More

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