I found my new talent quite relaxing and pleasant. I guess thatno matter how hard I tried to be Katie, that my true self kept trying topush to the su...face. It wasn't long before the head doctors had me onpills. I'm not sure what they put me on, but eventually they found acombination of drugs that had me doped-up to focus during class, andfeeling even more numb than I already felt.I had trouble thinking during that time, school work actually becamedifficult for me, as my normally sharp mind. Firstit was me, and then it was him, now it was me again. Josh was a greatguy. He was going to make some girl very lucky someday. But I couldn'tsee myself being that girl anymore. It just didn't seem like it was meantto be.Josh watched me, as if he could see all of these thoughts flow through myhead. But instead of turning sadly away, like he had been at the concertin Salt Lake City, he was smiling at me. That smile was full of thefriendship that we had developed and had grown as we worked. More

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