Little Ralph is ready to eat!’ Sharon did a consummate double-take. ‘What did you call him?’ her voice rising as she spoke. ‘Our son’s name...is Glen. How did you ever come up with the name Ralph?’ I was trying to sneak out of the room when my wife’s voice froze me in place ‘Donald! Don’t you dare leave! You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do!’ ‘Uh-oh’ I thought, ‘The baby poop has just hit the fan!’ If I had ever needed to think fast on my feet, that was the time. Unfortunately all I could come up. You have half an hour. Get your stuff and get out. I’m calling the clinic for an STD check up’. *** Gonorrhoea. The bitch and her ex gave me fucking gonorrhoea. After a course of antibiotics I was clean but with the STD and being thoroughly pissed off at Tina, I hadn’t slept with anyone for six months. My life had slipped completely. I was failing at work, depressed all the time, sl**ping badly and eating poorly. My friends tried to help and eventually persuaded me to come out for a curry on a. More

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