”“Wave to her. Show her you’re OK.”I swung my arm over my head, but I couldn’t see where she was sitting.Alvin lifted me onto his lap and st...rted scuttling backwards. It wasn’t necessary. I mean, the water wasn’t that deep. We could have stood up and walked back. But I liked floating with him, with his arm around my waist, bobbing in the swells. I felt like a little girl, until I felt something else — Alvin’s hand on my thigh, very close to my crotch.“Hey!” I said.“Oh, sorry. Slipped.”His hand. I see you’ve already heard it.What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?A cherry float.What do you do when your Kotex catches fire?Throw it on the floor and tampon it.What’s 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1?Bo Derek getting older.Did you hear about the new douche powder made of alum, LSD, and Kentucky Fried Chicken batter?It’s uptight, outasight, and finger-lickin’ good.What’s the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?You can unscrew a light bulb.What do fat girls and mopeds have in. More

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