‘I have never been through these gardens.’ I looked at the darkened topiaries hesitantly. I had heard that the gardens at this particular home wer... spectacular at any time of the day. I had not been able to wander the maze yet and I had longed to have such a quiet solitary moment. ‘Just show me the way.’ I said eagerly. I followed her into the juniper entrance. In the gardens, alone deeply lost, she had kissed me in a way I believed only the Holy Mother could manage. It was tenderness that I. But I wasnt thinking about that. I went to the dressing room, and sat ona bench, trying to collect my thoughts.Something had happened to me out there. At some point I stopped playingthe role of a girl.And found one inside of me.And I didn't want to give her up, to go back to being a boy.So I did the hardest thing I could do, and told Kate, our coach, andfinally, my folks.And pretty soon I'd retired from skating to pursue a transition.I knew early on that there would be no way for me to skate. More

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