“Why not use a fork?” she asked.“Well, there are some situations where a spatula is more effective and easier,” Lou said, nodding. “There’... also tongs and whisks and graters and peelers...”Beatrice giggled.“What?” Lou asked.“I just ... humans ... make so many bits and bobs to put in their hands!” she said, her red eyes sparkling with delight. Her outermost eyes closed – what he was beginning to recognize being the same way that a human’s eyes might crinkle with a smile. “Most species would stop. And I was just after a bit of harmless fun, same as most who jump illegally. People know it happens, and most call it perverted. The ones who do it just call it advanced masturbation. There was, technically speaking, no law against having sex with yourself. Still, it was my first time, and I was a bit nervous, so I asked, “Does this work?” “Oh yeah,” future me replied. “I had an awesome time. I hope it’s as good the second time around.” “I’ll do my best.” “I know,” she said and winked. My. More

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