You may wonder why I, with my English public school, Cambridge University and Foreign Office background, did not feel revulsion at finding myself at t...e centre of what was an orgy, nothing less. I have often asked myself that question since. Vee and I have discussed it. We have wondered if some potion had been administered during the meal, but we think not. We can only conclude that sex, in a certain context, can be an overwhelming, all-consuming emotion. Inhibitions, far from being. I left feeling kind of empty, but I know I would have felt worse if I had taken advantage of the girl. As I sit here watching her back as she talks to Karl, I wonder if she even remembers that night. I wonder if it would have made any difference if I had taken her up on her drunken offer or not. Lord knows I haven’t felt a woman’s touch in a while. But I think it’s gotta feel right. I’ve got enough guilt. I leave Blue Dog’s feeling a bit empty again, like I did that night when I left Suzanne’s.. More

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