The endorphins have long worn off – a frustrating paradox. What is now pain that I want direly to escape was precisely what was integral in bringing...about the incredible rush that I had craved all my life in the first place. Such sadistic pain giving such perverse pleasure, and now, even feeling the full extent of hurt and no longer able enjoy it, there remained a deep need, an almost mechanical response to you. Like a child awaiting Santa, the Gothic version of that tale.It starts from my toes. Not wanting to let your master down you stop, lest youdisappoint or embarrass him in front of this gathering. Hearing the beepingnoise you concentrate on your breathing....hoping to calm the wetness and desirethat is filling your body. Too soon the beeping stops, and you start again, but it's not enough time,you feel yourself building too quickly, your stomach muscles are bunching andthis one is going to be a landslide, you know it....trying to slow your fingersdown you scream out, "MASTER MAY. More

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