In truth, I knew there was no way that I could limit my cravings to once amonth, but if I could have gotten her involved that often I would haveaccept...d it and been thrilled, gladly "taking care of it" between timesmyself.She declined my offer, and I began taking care of all of it myself. Amongother things, I began wearing something sexy under my 'regular' clothesjust for the thrill of getting away with it.By time we had been together for 7 years, Nancy entered menopause. Inaddition to hot. I guess all that beer isresponsible for the jelly roll of fat that overhangs my girdle top.I would run away but I don't have any money and no place to run to. Afew dozen times I thought about going to my mother and begging herforgiveness. She's a strict Catholic and wouldn't abide living with agay son. She made that very clear those many months ago when she caughtme wearing lipstick and wanting my ears pierced. Hell, she didn't evenrecognize me today. So that's out as she'd never forgive. More

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