" Thinking and knowing are two different things. You may think there is a hell. I know there is one. That makes our feelings and motivations completel... different. I didn't want to know. Then it was so blatant that I couldn't lie to myself anymore. Each of my senses knew there was someone else. I couldn't deny it without denying everything else. I may as well have denied my own existence, denied that water is wet, ice is cold. It was that empirical. And then a marriage that was crumbling but. Certainly legal, but still, I really should have been ashamed of myself. I was a thirty-two year old man! It started out so simply though. She sent me a picture because I wrote something silly like, if a picture is worth a thousand words than a thousand words must be worth a picture. It was almost cliche, the dorm room nude. Bad lighting, bitten lip, interesting angles. There is a very immediate and contemporary intimacy about it, something both forbidden and accessible. Innocent and slutty.. More

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