My teacher, who had sung on stage herself, did not put up with any crap from me at all; she had coached a lot of singers, and I always, always had to ...e prepared, and keep my opinions to myself or she would stop the lesson and send me home. So I was watching these boys doing this sex stuff, and I was doing some of it myself, but really, I was thinking about walking on stage in my costume and make-up and doing what Joan Sutherland does...no f******n year old boy with his dick out could compete. I would have thought that some part of my subconscience would rebel against such constraints. Such times teach me a great deal about myself and my needs. And now, there is a period of isolation I must endure before I can again afford to give myself up to fantasy, there are the sleepless nights and the lonely days, and there are the moments when I wonder how I manage to give up the intimacies associated with such activities, and why I force myself to endure such a loss.When you picked me up at. More

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